if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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