she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
