Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
