I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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