You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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