I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
