well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
