quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
