Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
