So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
