I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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