I just pynch a tree in the face
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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