Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
