If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
