So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
