So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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