no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
