This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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