Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
