I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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