so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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