so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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