The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
