is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
