Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
