we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
