so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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