like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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