You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
