Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
