Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
