where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
