I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
