she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
