So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
