Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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