dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
