Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
