Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
