I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
