Is it because I queefed?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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