I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
