thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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