Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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