evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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