hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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