the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
