My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
