Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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