Will you blow on my dice?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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