so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
