You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
